Wednesday, June 13, 2007

WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF

OK, we all know that I am a new runner. What you did not know is that at about mile 5ish (sometimes earlier), I ask myself the same question. Why the hell am I out here? Am I just a freaking masochist? Can I possibly sweat in another gross place? Do I enjoy ice that much? Do I have stock in Advil? Is this just a ploy to get me away from my children at their *loveliest* time - bedtime?

Let's face it, the real reason I'm out here is to impress people. :) How many people can say that they did a marathon? All of the people I know that have done one (or more) are here in blogland. And most of you I don't *really* know. While I know I'm not going to break the sound barrier when I'm running, I do take a measure of pride knowing that I'm putting in work. I also take pride knowing that since last year I have lost ~15lbs running/biking/swimming. I have all these self-defense mechanisms that belittle the accomplishments that I have done because when I compare them to what you guys out there have done, it seems so small. But, you have to start someplace, right?

I have GOT TO squash that stupid voice that tells me that I'm not cut out for this. You know that we all have one (some louder than others). If I believe that I can run this marathon & put in the miles, then I know that it'll get done. Just put one foot in front of the other....

Jeez, am I a dork or what?

3 comments:

LeahC said...

dude we ALL have those thoughts! I have been on runs before and i'm liek what the ass am i doing out here.

keep going back for more (like you do!)

miss petite america said...

um, did you just like lift these thoughts form my brain while i was running today??

my 6 miles sucked ass today, but when i told my friend i ran 6 miles he was like whoa...really?? and instantly i felt like a stud...

Theoutofshapeguy said...

I have those thoughts all the freakin time. Then I see the little progress that I have made since I started and that pushes me to go further.

You are doing awesome! Plus it gives you time to get away from the kids.